Caring for our loved ones when they aren’t able to

“I woke up one morning and it hit me: my parents were getting old.”

It’s not easy watching a loved one struggling with day-to-day tasks. Whether it’s a parent or spouse getting older, or a younger person facing health or disability challenges, our role as caregiver is one of the most difficult we’ll face. With the proper support and a good plan, it can also be time to cherish with a loved one in their time of need.


Asking the Tough Questions

Our customers tell us the hardest part of this transition to being a caregiver to a loved one is having the first conversation. Sometimes it can be hard for any of us to accept that we need help.

Here are some tips and tools for tackling the toughest of conversations.


Acknowledge your emotions

“She would say, let’s enjoy the present and not think about the future, but I was terrified at the thought of losing her.”

Psychologists describe the wide range of emotions associated with realising a loved one is getting old: sad at our parents’ decline, terror at the thought of losing them, overwhelmed at the bewildering challenge ahead of what their needs may be, and what may be best for them, and even anger at the inevitable change we’ll need to make in our life.

We aren’t alone in feeling these emotions and it can help to hear about the experiences of others.


Karen’s story

“Since Dad passed away suddenly, Mum has been struggling to cope. She’s grieving and in shock at Dad’s passing – she doesn’t want to even think about how to look after the bills and banking. She seems to get more confused every week. It’s heart-breaking to see Mum like this.”

Read more of Karen's story here...


Getting help and advice

Public Trust’s Personal Assist is a tailored service to help manage life’s administrative burdens. Our dedicated Advisers are on hand to do as much or as little as you need; giving you the peace of mind of being in control, without the stress.

To find out how Personal Assist can help you, contact us today.

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How prepared are Kiwi couples for the future?

We asked 11 Kiwi families about how prepared they were for managing these responsibilities as challenges like mobility and health start to get in the way. Watch their responses in our video below.