Talking about death gives us the ick – why it's so important we do it anyway
Create a will and EPAs online
It’s no secret that we would rather steer clear of conversations that make us feel uncomfortable – that’s why so many of us avoid the topic of death and end of life planning. But talking about it and making clear plans can empower you and your loved ones, says Scott Marlow, Public Trust’s Head of Service Delivery for the South Island.
While this is a normal human response, not being prepared can lead to significant issues down the line, says Scott.
Surprise: talking about heavy topics can lighten our mental load
“Not talking about it won’t make it go away, unfortunately. These conversations by nature are heavy. However, there is real power in facing into these realities and sharing how we envisage our final chapter and epilogue – the legacy we leave.”
“By having an upfront conversation and putting a plan in place, people tell us they feel more in control.” says Scott. “End of life planning provides peace of mind for you and your loved ones, so you can get on with living your life.”
Young couple thought they didn’t need EPA before personal tragedy
Scott has seen the twist of fate change lives in an instant.
It reinforces the importance of having important legal protections like a will and enduring powers of attorney (EPA) set up before you need them, he says.
“I worked with a younger couple when I first started at Public Trust. They completed a will with us as part of their life planning and admin. Their life goal was to ensure that financially they were sorted if anything was to happen.
“We suggested they get an EPA at the same time. They hadn’t anticipated a scenario where either of them was still here but had lost capacity.
“Tragically, a couple of years later, one of them suffered an accident that seriously impacted their ability to make decisions. Thanks to the EPA being in place, their spouse was able to make decisions on their behalf, without having the stress and cost of having to go through a Court process to obtain the legal right to do so.”
Making your will
When it comes to making a will, Scott encourages people to keep things as simple as possible.
“This is for two reasons. One: a simple and clear will can make it easier to administer. This means less time taken to carry out your wishes. Two: clear instructions mean that there is reduced likelihood of conflict, cost and expense to the estate and those around you.”
Times change. Maybe your will should too
Public Trust recommends people regularly review their estate plans, ensuring they remain relevant and up to date over their lifetime.
“Situations and circumstances change,” says Scott.
“I worked with a couple recently that had last updated their wills 15 years ago. In between then and now, they had divorced, they had reunited, they had reconciled with an estranged family member, there were now grandkids on the scene, and one of them was dealing with a serious illness. So, a lot had changed. What was good yesterday may not be good tomorrow. That’s why we say review your will regularly.”
Tips for avoiding family drama
In TV and movies, the will reading becomes a big dramatic moment. Should the contents of your will be a surprise reveal to your loved ones?
“There is nothing wrong with having a flare for the dramatic,” laughs Scott. “But this is a personal choice. In most situations, transparency and clarity can greatly aid the process.”
While every family has its own unique dynamics, Scott says you can avoid friction by talking with your family about your plans while you’re still around.
“After you’ve gone, your family and friends will be trying to process your loss. So, the easier we can make it for them to navigate – the less difficult it will be.”
Along with their will, some people choose to leave a special message for their loved ones. “Explaining with a letter, a video or a note why you have made decisions is a great way to help contextualise your decisions,” suggests Scott.
Having an honest conversation about the one certainty in life is important so you can put a plan in place. Here’s three things you’ll want to consider when you get the ball rolling.
Creating a will: Making a plan for what happens after you die is the best way to help ensure that the people and things you love are looked after. It’s easy to create your will with Public Trust and can make the process of managing your passing less stressful for your family.
EPAs are as important as wills for protecting you and your family – they can help ensure that your care, wellbeing, and finances are taken care of by people you trust.
Statement of wishes: At the time of your death, your family are grieving and will have a lot on their plate. While it is not legally binding, a detailed statement of wishes will help remove the stress of decision making placed on your family at the time of your passing by providing them with clear instructions.